The Love of a Ghost

"Would you please stop staring at me?" I said as I put my hair brush down and turned around. He just turned his head and looked outside. He was sitting on my window seat resting his arms on his knees. He was a ghostly looking guy, tall, with short black hair, dark eyes, and white skin. He was wearing brown combat boots, a pair of old and dirty kakis, and a white sleeveless undershirt.
I sighed. No way of making him talk. I took the hair band on my wrist and tied my hair into a braid, and went downstairs.  
Ever since I have memory he's been doing that. He follows me around, he looks at me when he thinks I don't know, always maintaining the same blank expression, but in all the years we have known each other he has never spoken a word.
"Morning everyone!" I said as I entered the kitchen.
I've lived in this farm house since I was four years old; my parents bought it in the middle of the war, and ever since then we have earned a good living. I am happy here, and so is my family, and that is all there is to life, right? So then, why did it feel like a big chunk was missing?
"Good morning, honey," said Fujitaka, my dad, as I came near him to kiss his forehead.
"Hey Sakura," I messed my 7 year old sister's hair as I passed by her.
"Hi Kohane. Good morning," she said.
"Hi Mom," I kissed my mother's cheek. "Let me help you with that," I took the tray full of pancakes from her hands.
"Thank you, sweetie," she smiled. I set the tray on the table and sat on my rightful place across from my sister.
"Fujitaka! Stop reading, it's time to eat," my mother scolded my father. I smiled.
"I'm sorry, Nadeshiko. You know I go to another world when I read," he put his book down, and smiled.
"Good morning everyone!" said a male voice coming from the back door. "Sorry to barge in," he smiled.
"No problem, Kimihiro^*1," said my father. "Come in and have some breakfast with us; we are just starting."
"You sure you don't mind?" he replied as he entered the kitchen.
"Of course not, you're already in," I thought.
"Of course not," said my mother. "Feel yourself at home. I'll get you a plate," she started to get up.
"Don't trouble yourself, Mrs. Kinomoto."
He went directly to the cabinet where we kept the dishes, sat down next to my sister, and we all started to eat. He is a college student who works for my dad on the farm during his summer breaks. And most of the time when they finish early my dad invites him for dinner, which is pretty often, and as it is to be expected he knows his way around the kitchen pretty well.
"So, what's on the agenda today, Mr. Kinomoto?" asked Kimihiro once we were all done with breakfast.
"Well, after you left yesterday I finished milking the cows ^*2, so there is nothing else for you to do today. I heard today is the last day the fair is in town; you can take the rest of the day off to go there. But if you want something else to do you can help Kohane with the horses."
Kimihiro and I were washing the dishes. He looked at me and I looked down, blushing. He liked me; my father knew it, as he also knew it was my job to take care of the horses. Mine alone. My father was the kind of man that never said anything without a reason, and he knew, Kimihiro knew, and I knew he was giving Kimihiro permission and privacy to ask me out. He might as well just give us his blessing right on the spot.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. We finished washing the dishes and went to the stables together, silently walking side by side.
"So…" said Kimihiro. He was looking at me; both guys were. One standing behind me, and the other sitting on the pile of hay near us. We were done brushing the horses; I was putting away the brushes. Kimihiro grabbed my hand and looked me in the eye. "Kohane, would you like to go to the fair with me?" his eyes sparkled with rays of hope. I gulped. I was shaking under the influence of his powerful gaze; although I have no idea if it was Kimihiro's or the dead soldier's. I smiled.
"I'd love to."
"Great," he smiled too. "I'll pick you up at six," he kissed my check, and left. I was petrified; I couldn't even move my eyes. He was sweet, very sweet.
"What are you looking at, Kohane?"
I shuddered. How did Sakura get in here without me noticing? How long have I been standing there?
"Nothing," I said, and went inside to take a shower.

"So... which one do you like the most: the peach or the beige?" I said as I took my two favorite dresses out of the closet. This time he didn't even bother to look at me. I groaned, and walked to my full body mirror. "I don't even know why I bother," I said as I put the beige dress over me. "It's not like you are going to answer anyway," I shrugged.
"I like the peach one better. It makes a beautiful contrast with your skin and hair color."
I saw my surprised face looking at him through the mirror. He was standing behind me. His head over my shoulder, his cheek softly caressing mine^*3, and his eyes looking at my dress.  I started to talk, but unintelligible sounds came out. My knees were shaking.
"D-do…d-do you m-mind?" I said, pointing at my dress with my eyes. I did not dare to make another move.
"Of course not," he stepped aside. For a second I saw his military dog tag. I was only able to read the word "Doumeki" before he banished.
For some reason I sighed with relieve when he left. I put on my peach dress as soon as I could. I was trying to zip it up when I realized I didn't add any to help me pull the dress' zipper up.
"Shoot," I mumbled. And as soon as I spoke a pair of strong hands held my shoulders. Once again I started shaking, my heart started racing, I started gasping, and my whole body was burning.
"I'll help you with that," he whispered in my ear. His fingers slowly traced my back until they reached the zipper. And with an inhuman slowness he zipped my dress. Then he kissed my shoulder, and in the wink of an eye he was standing in front of me. I gulped, and looked at him. I just couldn't keep my eyes away from him; his eyes were just too intense. He was staring at me. I could feel how his gaze drilled a hole in the pit of my stomach. He smiled at me. "I believe we haven't been properly introduced, Miss. I'm Shizuka Doumeki," he took my hand and kissed it. "And who might you be, beautiful lady?" he looked back up at me.
"I'm…"
"…ready?"  said Sakura while entering our room. "Are you ready, Kohane? Kimihiro is downstairs waiting for you."
"Amm… Just a moment," I said as I hurried to get my shoes, my purse, and a sweater and rushed through the door.
"She looks quite pretty, don't you think so, Mister?" said Sakura.

"You look beautiful, Kohane," Kimihiro said and smiled. We had been wandering around the fair for quite a while now. This was our first conversation since we left home.
"Thanks."
There was another long silence after that.
"I'm boring you, am I not?" he asked. He made those puppy eyes that make you doubt whether he is being serious or not. I laughed a little.
"It's not you. It's just that we haven't talk or done much since we arrived," I smiled. He pondered for a bit before replying.
"Well, we can always improvise," he gave me a wicked grin, took my hand, and guided me towards what will always be the most fun night I've ever had.

"Thanks for the date, Kimihiro. I had a lot of fun," I said. We were standing on the porch.
"And so did I," he said. He took my hand and kissed it. "Good night my lady," he waved me good-bye.
"Good night," I said as I entered the house.
"Kohane, wait!" he said.
"What is it?" I turned around, worried that something bad had happened.
"This…" he said, but interrupted himself by kissing me. "Good bye now," he winked and left.
"Amm… Goodnight," I whispered, and went inside.

"So… how was it?" asked Shizuka^*4 when I entered the room. He was sitting in the same place, with the same position, looking at the same place.
"It was…fun," I said. It's not like doubted it, but rather because I was still shaken by Kimihiro's kiss. "Amm… do you mind stepping out for a moment. I need to change."
"Of course. It is clear that you are a shy lady among gentlemen."
Was I sensing a jealous tone?
"Did you se…?" I started to say, but he had already banished. I sighed. What is with these guys? I changed, kissed Sakura on the forehead, and went to sleep.

"Are you mad at me?" I heard a male voice talking, and something soft brushing my cheek. I got up so suddenly my head hurt. I tried to focus on the almost transparent figure in front of me.
"Huh?"
"I apologize for the way I acted last night," he said. I might've been half asleep, but I was still able to feel how sorry he truly was. "It was very rude from me to spy on you."
"Well, it's not like I wasn't already used to you stalking me," I sat up.
"I am not a stalker. I just like to appreciate beauty from a distance."
"Ah-ha. If it wasn't because you're dead and I'm the only one who can actually see you, I would've already turned you in to the police," he arched his eyebrow. I chuckled. "I'm joking, Shizuka," I said when I saw his upset face.
"Is everything fine then?"
"Everything's fine," I smiled. We shook hands. And thus was how our friendship started.

Months went by as if they were days, and as time passed by we became very close. But there was something very odd about our friendship, at least from my side. Every second I spent away from him felt like years, and every moment I spent with him went by as fast as a shooting star. I felt a longing feeling when he wasn't around; I felt butterflies in my stomach and electricity running through my body every time I saw him and when he touched me. I knew a lot about him: his favorite things, his likes and dislikes, I knew what type of person (or ghost for that matter) he was, his dreams, his hopes, his fears; but there was something about him I didn't know at all: his past!. I knew that he used to live in this house before the war, I knew who his parents were, when he was born. He told me about the war, about his training, all the horrors he had seen and all the friends he had made. Yet he did not tell me how he had died or why he was still here. Because every time I asked about it he would just say: "I don't want to talk about that," then he would cleverly change the subject. There were some things he wasn't telling me that needed to be told, that needed to be known.

"Kohane!" Sakura rushed into the kitchen. "You have to come see what I found," she said very excitedly. She took my hands, and pulled me upstairs to our bedroom. When we entered there was a hole on the floor, a few wood pieces were piled up next to it.
"Amm… Sakura? You do realize Mom and Dad are going to kill you when they see that hole, right?"
"Sort of… but I just couldn't just let it stay there."
"Explain yourself, Little Sister."
"I was up here getting ready for school, when I felt this weird energy coming from the place where the hole is," she wasn't able to see ghosts like I did, but Sakura could see their aura and energy. "So I took some of the pieces off," she got near the hole and took something out. "And found this," it was a really old box about the size of a shoe box; it looked at least forty years old.
"Sakura! Time to go to school," yelled Mom from downstairs.
"Here, she told me it was yours now," she gave me the box, and left.
I looked at the box. I sat on the floor. Sakura was right, whoever was the owner of this box was a woman; I could still feel what was left of her spirit in it. And… and there was something else… someone else's energy… Shizuka! I open the box with furious speed.
This is what I found in the box: old photos, a lot of letters, a couple of diaries, a military dog tag, and... and... and an engagement ring.
It was Shizuka. He was in most of the pictures. Photos of him wearing his military uniform, photos with his comrades, a couple of photos of him in the battle field, and a few photos of a girl. She looked tall; she had black curly hair tied up in pigtails, white skin, and green eyes. She was so pretty. I took a look at the back of a photo of her.
"Summer before the draft: I miss you Shizuka, love Himawari "^*4
And after the signature there was the mark of a kiss made with red lipstick.
I couldn't control myself any longer I had to read those letters; I had to know what those diaries said.
I took the box and ran to the stables; making sure no one saw me.
I spent minutes, hours reading and rereading those letters. They were love letters. They told the tale of a young soldier who was drafted to the war, his young lover back home, a promise of marriage, and the hope of seeing each other once again. Of course.
It wasn't until I read Himawari's diaries that I found out their unfortunate fate.
There was one last photo inside the diary. It was the photo of Shizuka's disfigured body. According to the diary section, in which I founded it, he died when the airplane he was in crashed.
My fingers were trembling at the sight of that photograph, at the thought of the horrible death Shizuka Doumeki had gone through.
"So, now you see why I don't want to talk about it?" he said as he took the photos, the letters, and the diary from my now petrified fingers. He surprised me; I did not expect him to be here... Was he there the whole time? Did he know I was reading those letters and diaries?  After a couple of infinite seconds my eyes started to move, but I just couldn't look; the shame of looking into his stuff, his history, his past, set my cheeks on fire and hit my body like a river attempting to crush a pebble.
"Why?" he asked.
"Why what?"
"Why do you want to know how I died, how I lived, who I loved?" he looked down at me, and I looked up. There was something in his eyes that intrigued me. They looked sad, melancholic, angry; but there was a shine that reflected a light never seen by human eyes before…
"I don't know." I shook my head in slow repetitive movements; my lips didn't move at all. But I did know; I knew that I wanted to know, to snoop into his past… Yet I didn't know the whole truth behind why I so desperately wanted to know.
"Yes you know!" He said as he grabbed my arm and jerked me closer to him, so our chests were touching and our eyes were locked. "And you are going to tell me this very instant." I've never seen him so angry! He was boiling mad. His anger pressed my skin and went through it until I felt the electric shock of his fingers sending magnetic scratches through my veins. "Tell me now, for God's sake…" he whispered with such anger in his voice… it was scary.
"I DON'T KNOW!" I yelled, now his rage merged with my flesh as he kept pushing his energy into me. "Let go." I wanted to say, but couldn't because his tongue twisted my words in my mouth. And now he was into me. He forced his energy into my body… we were merged… My body fell dully to the floor.
"What are you doing inside my body?" I thought.
He did not answer. Figures!
And as soon as he was in he was out. I opened my eyes, gasping for air; it was as if I wasn't breathing for an hour rather than a second. I was coughing, feeling a funny sensation moving in the mouth of my stomach. I felt like throwing up.
"Why?" he was looking down at me. I couldn't read what his eyes were saying, there were too many emotions.
"Why what?"
"Why do you love me?" My eyes opened in raw surprise making a crashing sound. How was he able to know that I loved him before I did?
"I… I… I don't know," I was choking on my own words, and sobs.
Shizuka kneeled down beside me and lifted my chin. He smiled.
"I love you too," he said and kissed me. And with that kiss I felt that my life was complete.

"Kohane!" I heard my mom yell at me. Great!
"You have to go," he said gasping. It was almost dark, and thanks to all this chaos I was way behind my chores. But I didn't want to go at all. "I'll see you later, ok?" he hugged me and kissed my forehead.
"I want to stay with you a bit longer," I hugged him tighter.
"Kohane, Where are you?!"
She was getting nearer.
"Go, you are already in trouble. Don't get in any deeper, okay?"
My! How could I say no to him?
"Okay," I said and left.

"Kohane, wake up," I heard a voice whispering, and someone shaking my shoulder.
"What? What is it?" I sat up and tried to look at whoever was talking to me.
"Kohane…"
It was Shizuka. He cupped my cheek with his hand, and then he kissed me.
"I love you, don't forget that, okay?"
There was an unbelievable pain in his eyes that seemed to foreshadow something. They were still covered by that light, and if it wasn't because he was dead I'd say he was about to cry. I started to say something, but before I could say anything he banished. I had a bad feeling about this, but I decided to ignore it. I got up and went downstairs to do my chores.

There was not a lot to do, so I finished early. I went to my room to talk to Shizuka about what happened this morning.
"Shizuka, we need to talk..." I entered the room, but there was nobody there. "Shizuka?" I went to the window seat where he'd usually be.  There was a note stuck on the window. I took it; my name was on it.

My beloved Kohane, as a mediator^*5 you know that spirits stay in this world for a reason. And because I love you and my departure will cause you pain I will tell you that reason. There were two letters that Himawari didn't put in that box and those letters contained the breakup of our engagement. Why? Because she just couldn't wait for me to come home. So I promised her I'd take the ring back when I came back home, but I never did. In many ways I stayed there because I still held on to the love I had for her, but then I met you and I knew you were going to be the one to free my soul. When you found the box I was mad because I fell in love with you, and that ring you saw in the box was the reason I was still in this world. And then I saw the light; I didn't want to go there, but its call was so strong I was lucky it gave me time to say good-bye to you, Darling.
Forgive me for leaving you, my love.

For the next few seconds I felt completely numb to everything, even my own heartbeat. It wasn't until my eyes filled with tears that I felt a black hole forming in the middle of my chest.
I tossed the piece of paper on the floor. I… I… I just couldn't hold it in any longer. I just couldn't be around all the things that reminded me of him. I had to run away from there, from all those painful memories. The destination didn't matter; I just had to leave that black hole behind.
I was about to reach the stables when I bumped into something. I looked up, and saw a pair of beautiful blue eyes. They were sparkling; it was the first time we saw each other in almost a year.
"Hi," said Kimihiro and smiled at me.
"Hi," I said...
...and smiled too.




^*1 Kimihiro is Wataniki's first name, I'm using it because Kohane calls him Kimihiro so I'm going make everyone else call him that too.
^*2 I'm a town gal, so really have no idea what the work on a farm is, so I wrote what the first thing I know for sure people do on farms  
^*3 I believe ghosts are the energy that got stuck in this world, so I have this theory that ghost are able to compress all those energy particles until they become something tangible.
^*4 In xxxHOLiC Kohane calls Doumeki Shizuka, which is his first name.
^*5 Meg Cabot wrote a series of books called The Mediator which this is story is based upon. A mediator, according to Cabot's books, is a person that can see ghost and that helps then move on.